I honestly feel empty.

Lay in bed both looking and feeling lifeless.

Thinking about everything, about all of the worst possible outcomes that could come and hit you in the face.

Palpitations kicking in and the pressure in your head just keeps coming back…

It’s not nice living with anxiety. It’s difficult. Sitting in the livingroom with your mum but having to walk out of there – saying nothing for the rest of the evening unless she approaches you first to say goodnight.

An overwhelming feeling of drowning with nobody there that can help you no matter how much they try. Reaching into the water but just not far enough to bring you back to the reality you will still have to face when you ‘get over it’.

You never really get over it, just wait for the next one to come. Attacking you from nowhere like a swarm of wasps protecting their world from the one thing that could possibly destroy it. It just so happens that it’s you they’re attacking.

Life is full of unexpected surprises. It’s just a shame not all surprises are a good thing to everyone.

I’m being suffocated by myself and I have no way to stop it from happening to me. Do you know how frustrating that is? Slowly killing the person I am yet being able to do nothing about it.

I’m a bubbly girl, always happy, always smiling. It would be nice if I didn’t have to fake the person that I am. I act like the person I want to be instead.

I don’t want to be here like this anymore. It really is difficult.

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Another thing to think about..

I recently read a post on Facebook about how a woman was put into an uncomfortable situation on a bus. The caption stated ‘This is why men will never know what it is like to be a woman’.

For the people that have not read it, it’s a short story on her personal experience on a bus involving a strange man, who seemed to think it was acceptable to touch her and rub his crotch after her turning him down for an offer to go for a drink. When she approached the bus driver about it he simply told her to move seats and said something along the lines of ‘you can’t blame him, you’re a pretty girl’.

The thing that appalled me was some of the responses that she got, including the ones where the bus driver should not have fought her battle for her if she wants equal rights? This is not a question of feminism, it still would have been deemed unacceptable if it were a man in her position. All the girl was asking for was some awareness. For people to open their eyes on situations that can or may happen right in front of them.

‘Treat others the way you would like to be treated’

Something we were all told whilst growing up. It should not matter how someone looks. Invading personal space is enough to drive people up the wall but completely breaking the barrier is scary.

You should never be made to feel that unsafe, especially in a public place or on public transport where people have a duty of care.

It should not matter what gender you are, shape, size, age, how you dress… You should not be made to feel stupid after asking for help in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable or scared.

Would you want to bring a child into this world and want them to be on either end of the situation? Scared of what could happen or thinking they can control someone simply because they want to?

It’s scary to think who is out there sometimes, not only the people doing the bad things to others, the people that refuse to help because they can’t be bothered or don’t feel it is their place to.

What a strange world we do live in.

Just think about it.

I hate the world that we live in, yet I do nothing myself to change it. The vein world that puts people into categories, First Class, Second Class, Third Class. Schools putting children in different groups and deciding what they can learn when they’re only going by the grade that their teacher has given them. People classing someone as worth less than them because of things like money, the colour of their skin, their mental/physical abilities, how well they dress. We go through day to day life for ourselves just to carry on doing the same thing, with the same routine, over and over. The thing is, we aim to please ourselves or a significant other that we put higher than us, yet we don’t actually think about our actions or consequences on other people’s lives, which is such a shame. Making people aware of mental health and spreading the word on how others may feel is a small help that people seem to only just be picking up on, in 2017. See mental health is an extremely varied thing to deal with and talk about. We have situations that affect our mental health like suppressing emotions, ignoring our pasts, ignoring our futures. It all leads down one road in the end but that one road has so many side roads that we may all be convinced to go down. Life is not as simple as categories. Read more